


The Heart of Ice

by whiteravenwrites17



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 05:33:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 15,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7672030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiteravenwrites17/pseuds/whiteravenwrites17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John is a distant relative of the royal family, for many years he has been grieving the death of Lady Rose. Clara Oswald is chosen to be his next wife, neither of them like each other until they know more about each other?  Are they  afraid the other doesn’t feel the same way? Can love be found in an arranged marriage?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He knew he had to do it, he was just sitting in his room when his advisor and closest friend told him. “John, you have to get married”.

 

John knew he had to, after inheriting the title from his brother he knew he had to take a wife. No one at court appealed to him, no one made his heart flutter and forget the pain of losing his first wife, Rose.

 

 John looked up at his friend, Mr.Mannering and said.”Very well”.

 

 Mr. Mannering pulled out a photograph taken of Lady Clara Oswald, she was a distant cousin of his brother’s wife. She was very pretty with a round face and chocolate brown eyes, her reputation was ruined for falling in love with a slave, Daniel. As soon as John saw her he was quite taken with her, she had kept her shawl close to her chest as if she was cold. She had a warm and playful smile. 

 

“When will I see her?” John asked. 

 

“Tomorrow Mr. Smith,” his loyal servant replied. 

 

_ Clara Oswald _ . The name had a sweet tone to it, he wondered what she would be like when he met her. He wasn’t so keen on the idea of getting married, while Mr. Mannering had for many years try to encourage him he had not gotten over his first love, Rose. 

  
  
  
  


*********

 

“Clara,” Clara heard her step-mother call. 

 

Clara had rolled her eyes as she looked out the window, she was to meet John Smith here at her family estate. She had worn a beautiful elegant blue dress that her step-mother had chosen for her. Her corset was much too tight, her perfume filled the air so much she thought she might choke on it. 

 

Clara remembered what her step-mother told her that morning. “Be kind and generous, many people say his heart grows cold. I believe you will warm his heart”.

 

“I hope I will,” Clara replied.

 

“You will,” Lady Oswald assured her

 

“He’s here Miss Oswald,” the maid announced.

 

 Clara’s heart was beating twice its normal rate. She knew that he was older than her by how many years she was ignorant. Her brown hair was curly on the side. 

 

John Smith came with his advisor Mr. Mannering, when he came in Miss Oswald was just as pretty as her portrait, if possible even more beautiful with no words to describe her beauty. 

 

  He was nervous, holding his riding gloves in his hands and fidgeting with them. Mr. Mannering and Lady Oswald left Mr.Smith and Clara alone, to get to know one another. Clara gestured to the seat next next to her. His face was impassive, he mumbled a thank you and sat down farther away from her. 

 

Clara knew that he owned a cotton plantation and with slaves and one of them was her old lover, Daniel. It was one of her only chances of seeing him again and by the order of her family. 

 

“How did you know about my family?” she started. 

 

“Your uncle sold me a slave,” he strained. “But I’m trying to sell slaves to some of my friends”. 

 

“Why are slaves treated like property?” she asked. 

 

“I know why you agreed to this,” he ignored her changing the subject.

 

“You do?” she asked.

 

“Daniel Orson is one of my slaves, but you do understand the value of your reputation. Slaves are not human, they’re property just just like wives,” he replied matter-of-factly. 

 

“We’re property?” she asked. 

 

“The world is run by men,” John explained. 

 

“When we’re married,” she said, changing the subject. “What would you like me to call you?”

 

“Call me Mr. Smith,” he said. 

 

“Not John?” she asked incredulously. 

 

“I never liked that name. It’s better when it’s formal,” he explained. 

 

“I understand,” she replied looking down to the ground.  

 

Clara looked up to him and gave him a polite smile, she remembered what her step mother told her, smile and be polite. The courtship was over as soon as Lady Oswald came in, the wedding was to be held next month. John had agreed to meet Clara secretly in private. Her step-mother had encouraged her, to take it slow but to give him something to think about. 

 

 Clara had worn her low cut red dress as she met him in the forest behind her house. When she was walking she found Daniel walking into the garden. He had a worn out shirt and sweat was dripping from his neck from the hot summer sun. 

 

“Daniel?”

 

“Clara,” he greeted coldly. 

 

“Daniel, why are you like this?”

 

“You’re getting married,” he replied quickly, trying to hide his disappointment. 

 

“Daniel, I don’t love him,” she explained. 

 

“I know, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re going to be a married woman,” Daniel replied. 

 

“Not yet, Danny,we have time I still love you. You are the only one that I love,” she assured him. He didn’t seem convinced. What more could she convince him of? She step forward and kissed him firmly. Daniel leaned into her and gave her a full blown kiss. 

 

“Who is he?” Daniel asked after drawing for a breath. 

 

“He has a cotton plantation in the south, he’s taking me there after we’re married, we’re having our honeymoon in Italy,” she explained. 

 

Daniel groaned and wiped the sweat from his forehead. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe  _ you _ , of all people would let your family make this decision for you”. 

 

“It’s not a choice!” she yelled. “Women don’t have power in this world, Daniel”. 

 

“I know,” he replied sadly. “I’m just emotional, because I love and care for you”. 

 

She placed her hands on his sweaty chest, right where his heart was pounding strong and hard from the intense work. As he left Clara met John in the woods. 

 

Her curiosity overwhelmed her, how was he going to treat her? He already treated her with indifference, their courtship was short and not sweet it was bitter and unwelcoming. She was glad she ran into Daniel when she did, it eased her as she looked for John. Her step-mother had told her to bed John as soon as possible, have a child and marry some wealthier man, this was her life, from man to man improving her status and rising up until she was in the queen’s court. Her family wanted titles and riches, she wanted love and found it with Daniel. 

 

Daniel had been there when she was lonely and her family had her friends picked out for, teaching her who to like and who to respect, for once she was given freedom to like who she wanted. 

 

John bowed curtly to her and gestured next to him, she gave him a low curtsy as she met him as he held her hand. “You can stand up”. 

 

She did. 

 

     “How are you this evening, my lord?” she asked him, politely as she could. 

 

       “Tolerable,” he replied abruptly. 

 

  She sat down next to him near the tree as he offered her a glass of wine, she mumbled a thank you and moved closer to him. He moved himself a considerable distance from her. 

 

“Let’s talk about rules,” he started. 

 

“Rules, my lord?” she asked. 

 

“I have two women who run my house, my housekeeper Mrs. Fairchild and her sister, Alice. You are to listen to them, Alice would be your friend she can teach you how to run the household. You are to also listen to me, to bid what I tell you to do, come to my chambers when I ask you. Don’t talk to Daniel Orson, he’s my slave. Understood?”. 

 

“Yes,” she replied, her voice was barely above a whisper. 

 

“Good,” he said curtly. “Your mother said you would be obedient”. 

 

Obedient? She scoffed, he wished. 

  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

 

The first weeks of their courtship were brief, they would meet for an hour, taking strolls in the park and exchanging letters. He gave her bracelets and necklaces made for queens. John hardly saw her, making preparations for their wedding, Clara’s mother bought her the wedding dress, cut low with a bit of lace. 

 

Clara had a chance to meet with the housekeeper, Mrs. Fairchild and her sister, Alice. She was small and mousy, with a black dress, Mrs. Fairchild looked twenty years her senior. She was not plump, but not to be considered skinny. She had a warm smile as she went into a deep curtsey, and so did Alice. 

 

“Miss Oswald, is it?” Mrs. Fairchild asked. 

 

“Yes, Clara Oswald,” Clara replied. 

 

“Very pleased to meet you, Mr. Smith ordered that you meet the staff and that you see your bed chambers,” Mrs. Fairchild explained. 

 

     Clara followed the two women, the rooms were large, they had passed Mr. Smith’s study to Clara’s room which was two stories up. As she was lead the room had sort of a blue theme, blue sheets and paintings of women in nudes. A fireplace, with a fire burning warmed the room. Clara’s mother had made arrangements with the staff for Clara’s room to be her liking. A stack of books were at her bedside table, it was a warm and comfortable space. 

 

Next, Clara was lead to the kitchen to meet the staff. Mrs. Fairchild introduced her to the kitchen staff. Clara gave a curtsy as she greeted them, before she could hear little whispering and mumbles of how young she looked. Names, like slut and whore were used, Clara never heard those words since she was in her uncle's house when she was a little girl, it was a terrible memory that she had wished not to relive. 

 

“I know I’m young and inexperienced, but I’m prepared for the responsibilities that lie ahead,” she told them. There was some giggling amongst the maids as she left the room. 

 

Opening the bolted door, Clara found her way to what seemed to be John, her husband to be. “Mr. Smith!” Mrs. Fairchild, said astonished. “We didn’t expect you back for another week”. 

 

“I was making arrangements for my brother’s funeral,” he replied astonished that his staff didn’t know where he was. “I thought I told you”. 

 

John seemed to forget Clara was there. She looked lovely, he thought her corset was laced so tight her breasts looked more plump. She looked astonishing, like a greek goddess. “Miss Oswald, I thought I would you free, my butler was free enough to tell me,” he said sarcastically. 

 

       She could tell he was angry with her, expecting her to greet him in the front of the house. He offered his arm, in which she took. The wind was starting to pick up as John covered her with a shawl, it was almost kind, different from her first impression of him. They he had turned away as if it had hurt him to look into her eyes. She saw for a brief moment, his blue eyes that were almost defined by the rays of the afternoon sun. 

 

     Clara told him she had seen the house and had approved of it, he admitted he was glad, and for a moment she thought she saw a smirk. Then it faded, his face going back to it’s usual impassiveness. They would be married soon, she would see Daniel again and it will be fine, but she felt a tug on her heart when she got into the carriage back home, for some strange reason her heart ached. She saw him watched as John, with hands beyond his back his silver hair was perfectly neat and sided in the middle. He had a hint of a smile, as he watched her drive away. 

 

Clara didn’t know why her heart ached, she didn’t know. Was it aching because she missed home? Or was it aching because she missed Daniel, but then again she had seen him smirk when they were walking together. If only she could see him smile once, she was sure it would light up the world. 

 

When she had gone home her wedding dress had arrived. It was a lace white dress with the lace starting near the breast area. The rest of the dress was a simple white dress. She had tried it on with the veil with the bonnet and looked in the looking glass. 

 

There was a knock on the door, as the maid came in she held out a letter to Clara, it was from John, another letter, letting her know that the wedding was next week. 

 

She replied instantly saying she'll meet him tomorrow. Suddenly excited, she eagerly waited for him. She waited in the living room, in his hands he had the wedding rings. He presented them to her in a velvet pouch. They were beautiful gold rings with a big crystal diamond. 

 

“Oh,” Clara gasped, holding the ring. “they’re beautiful”. 

 

“It was passed down for many generations in the family,” John explained. 

 

  Clara’s cracked a smile, in which she felt for the first time that she did while they were together. The light coming from the window illuminated her brown hair, it almost made him smile. 

 

“Thank you”

 

 He smirked. “You’ll wear it?”

 

“Yes,” she said. 

 

       “I’m glad,” he said, as she came up to meet his beautiful hazy blue eyes, she thought she would see a hint of a smile, and she was saw one at least a ghost of one. “kiss me before I go”.

 

   She swallowed audibly. “You- you want to kiss me? You don’t want to wait for our wedding night?”. 

 

   His eyes were dark, and clouded with lust, so she had musted up all her courage and allowed him to kiss her. It made her forget that she didn’t like him, or hardly know him. She leaned into him more, as she moaned a little. Her eyes were still closed when they had broke apart, maybe this marriage wouldn’t be so terrible after all. 


	3. Chapter 3

It was the morning of their wedding, Clara woke up in a jolt when the sudden realization hit her. She didn’t have time to have breakfast or take a walk in the morning air, she slipped into her wedding dress and looked in the looking glass. She didn’t like the idea of getting married first, and for this first time after that kiss yesterday that was soft and gentle against her unpainted lips she didn’t not think of Daniel. She felt guilty, getting married and and not seeing Daniel, but she had pushed the thought out of her mind and went outside into the carriage. 

 

 Her step-mother was waiting for her, as the footman took her hand and lead her in. They made their way to the chapel, John had invited his friends, cousins and his sister, Missy. Clara’s father and his new wife, and their one child, David sat in the first row. 

 

John tried so hard not to look at until she came up to the altar. He stole a glance at her, he tried to remind himself, love would only bring him heartbreak. He would receive good money from this marriage, money protection and children. The thought of how intoxicating her lips were yesterday, he went to bed hard and uncomfortable. He wanted to make her happy, but how? He hadn’t made a woman happy since he was her age, he hoped to make her happy. 

 

 As the priest pronounced them man and wife, they exchanged rings, their fingers made attack and once again he felt her touch on his finger. He froze, which she felt he wasn’t used to the touch of a woman since his first wife, Rose. Clara turned to the priest again as he granted them permission to kiss, it was a quick chaste kiss, nothing exciting like the way Clara used to kiss Daniel. Somehow she felt the lingering feel of him on her lips. 

 

They walked arm in arm, Clara struggling to walk ahead of him. They had walked in the carriage Clara heard the cheering of the cards and the sounds of quiet sobs from her family. From this day on Clara was a married woman. 

John helped his small little wife from the carriage as the housekeeper, Mrs. Fairchild greeted them. “Oh Mr. and Mrs. Smith please come in,” she said with much excitement. 

 

John awkwardly looked at her, he knew he would have to carry Clara across the threshold. He turned to Clara as she gave him silent permission with a polite smile. In a swift movement she was in his arms, and oh god was she blushing? For a moment John was leaning closer and Clara thought he was going to kiss her, and he did. He carried her across the threshold, never breaking her gaze. 

For a moment John and Clara were lost in a trance, brown met blue. 

 

“Oh Mr. Smith there is enough to kiss your wife later!” his housekeeper laughed. She took Clara’s cape and lead her to the kitchen for where dinner to be served. Clara blushed profusely as they sat down for dinner together. 

 

After dinner Clara hardly saw John, he was in the field with the slaves and in the sea of them was Daniel. As she went down, she felt the heat of the summer sun as she the side of John she never saw. He was whipping a slave’s hands, but not just a slave’s hands but Daniel and then her chest rose, her breath caught in her throat. “Stop!”

 

John and Daniel were in sync, both looking at a small woman with a will of her own. Clara ran to Daniel in a swift movement. “Daniel,” she whispered. 

 

“Move aside, little wife. I need to continue,” John snapped. 

 

“No!” she said, holding Daniel to her body, his head in the depth of her chest. “He’s done nothing wrong!”

 

“His wasn’t working, he was fainting,” John explained, the loudness in his voice never leaving. He pushed her aside but Clara reached for John’s whip and took it. 

 

She was threatening him, the whip was in her left hand, her right palm up. She was going to whip herself. 

 

“Clara! Stop it,” her husband ordered. “What are you doing?!”

 

“I’ll whip myself if you whip this innocent man,” she threatened. 

 

John scoffed. “You won’t”.

 

The first thrash came. It felt a red stripe on her palm. She cried out. 

 

“Alright,” he said, defeated. He took the whip from her and walked the opposite directions leaving the two lovers in each other’s embrace. 

  
  


-__-

 

Clara pressed the cold water against Daniel’s as they came out of the sun and into the dungeon where the the servants worked. She felt the gaze of the servants on her, she was only focused on Daniel. 

 

“Try not to faint next time,” Clara ordered as Daniel put ice on Clara’s palm. 

 

“I’ll try,” he laughed. 

 

 She wiped her tears from the pain, the red sting still in her hand. She knew what tonight was, the night she would give herself entirely to her husband. 

 

“You’re going to him tonight, are you?” Daniel asked, his voice thick with envy. 

 

“It’s my duty,” she reminded him, avoiding his gaze. 

 

“After what he did?” he asked. 

 

      “Yes,” she lied. She knew she had too, but she couldn’t look at John the same way again. All those sweet gentle kisses were replaced with the brutality of the whip. 


	4. Chapter 4

Clara went back to her room, and got dressed in her nightgown, she brushed her long hair and put a bit of perfume on her neck. Her maid, Alice, opened the door and gave a low curtsey. “Mrs. Smith, your husband awaits you”.

Clara gulped, oh God this was it. Before earlier today, she might have looked forward to tonight. The ghost of his kiss was still on her lips, it was soft and gentle and now it just, felt like a harsh sting, like the whip on her hand. 

“Yes, tell him I will be in shortly,” Clara told her. 

The maid curtseyed low and left the room, Clara shortly followed after her closing the door behind her. She followed Alice as her maid knocked on her master’s door and gestured her hand towards the room for Clara to walk in. Alice left, as Clara gave a curtsey and a polite smile to her husband. He was still wearing his breeches, just a simple white bedtime shirt. He moved forward, as Clara braced herself for the worst. 

“Let me see it,” he demanded. 

“What?” 

“Your hand,” he explained. 

She offered it to him with a cold smirk, a look that for once in his life challenged him. He traced the mark she had left earlier in the room and studied it, he took a flask and poured the contents on her hand. She felt a sting on her hand as he tied a piece of fabric on the wound. Clara raised an eyebrow at him as she studied his face. He placed a kiss on her hand as she grabbed it back from him. 

“How dare you?!” she nearly yelled. 

“Why are you yelling at me?!” he yelled back. “I just fixed your hand”. 

She stared at him incredulously, did he really think it will be that easy? She let out a stifled laugh. He really couldn’t figure her out, for the first time in his life someone was saying no to him. 

“You’d expect that to make up for what you did earlier!?” she raged. 

His features seem to be calm, his owlish eyebrows settled. “Daniel Orson,” he breathed. Was that jealousy she detected? All he was is to be cruel to her and now he’s envious of Daniel?

“Yes,” she replied, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“He will leave tomorrow,” he told her, teasing her thinking he’ll let Daniel go. 

She let out a sigh of relief. 

“To another slave owner,” he explained. “And you are forbidden from ever seeing him again! If you’re going to be my wife, you’ll do as I ask”.

Was he serious? She let out a sarcastic laugh. “I’m not the obedient type,” she snapped. “I won’t do as you ask”.

“Come to bed,” he ordered, patting the bed behind him. 

“I most certainly will not!” she bellowed at him

He shook her by the shoulders, his hot breath on her faces, she squinted at his rage. “You are my wife and you will not as I bid you!”. 

“No,” she said, leaving no room for an argument. 

She left the room, slamming the door behind her as she collapsed on the bed, letting out a hysterical cry. 

0000

Clara’s tears dried in the morning but her eyes were bloodshot. The morning sun blinded her eyes as it came up on the horizon. Her maid Alice was there to help her into her dress, but Clara dismissed her saying that she could get into her corset and dress on her own. Surprised, Alice had left the room. 

Determined not to see Mr. Smith for most of the day, she received a note indicating they were making a trip to see Queen Victoria today. Clara knew Mr. Smith was a distant relative of Prince Albert, and sooner or later Queen Victoria would meet her. Making her day worthwhile Clara had ventured to the gardens. 

John was watching her from a distance, petting his dog as he watch his young wife brushing her fingertips on the lavender. Her maid, Alice was with her, walking arm in arm. Clara has worn a violet dress, with a shawl to compliment the outfit. It was going to be hard to please her, he hardly know how to.

Tomorrow he would meet with his advisor, maybe he would help him. 

 

“Mr. Smith is looking at you,” Alice giggled as she had picked a bundle of lavender. 

Clara looked at the window to see Mr. Smith looking at her with a curious smile. For a second she gave him a small smile back.

“It doesn’t matter, I shall never be happy with him,” Clara stated plainly. 

“Oh mistress,” Alice cried. “what did you mean? Did you not please him last night?”. 

“No, I did not I’m afraid I never will. He was so cruel that afternoon, to my lover Daniel. I want to move forward from Daniel, but how can I if my husband is cruel?”.

Alice gave Clara’s arm a squeeze as they continued walking.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 

 Clara woke up with instructions from her maid, Alice, now her trusted friend and confident, to wear something fit for a queen. Today they would meet Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. Clara had done as she was told and met John out by the front, where she heard the pitter patter of rain. She put her hood over her head and took John’s hand going to warmth and safety. 

 

 “How is your family related to Prince Albert?” Clara asked. 

 

 “He is my cousin twice removed,” John replied staring out the window and looking at the rain. He hardly ever made eye contact with her and Clara was starting to wonder if he knew he was doing it. 

 

 “Oh I see,” Clara replied tapping her fingers on her unpainted lips. 

 

 “Your step-mother told me you haven’t met the queen yet, considering that you’re a marquees, I’m surprised”.

 

“I never got a chance to meet her, but I’m looking forward to,” Clara explained. 

 

Could it be they were actually having a casual conversation without yelling? It felt almost easy to talking to him. John gave her a small smile, and to her surprise he took her hand and pressed a kiss to it. Blinking her eyes in surprise Clara looked flabbergasted at him. 

 

The carriage had come to an abrupt stop as the footman opened the door. John let Clara go out first as she stepped down, she waited for John. The bright summer sun bothered her eyes as she looked down on the dirt road. John intertwined his arm with hers as they walked in. Queen Victoria was with her dog, Dachshund by her side as she walked up to greet them. 

 

Dachshund barked playfully at Clara, walking around and sniffing at the strange new female in the room. Clara knelt down at the dog’s eye level and held out her hand for it to sniff. The dog licked her hand and went back to his mistress. 

 

Queen Victoria was in her early forties and had grown plump since Mr. Smith saw her last. She had dark brown hair, very similar to Clara’s and a warm and semi-friendly smile. 

 

“Prince Albert will greet us shortly, I believe he has gone hunting early in the morning,” Her Majesty explained. 

 

As if on queue Prince Albert came to greet John with a smile and pulled him into a hug, in which John stiffened underneath the touch. He didn’t deal with with people hugging him, he had hoped to approve on that, for Clara. 

 

“How are you Albert?” John asked him politely, a worried look in his eyes that Clara had never seen him show. 

 

Albert forced a smile, and chuckled nervously. “I’m coping with the everlasting pain, for Victoria”.

 

His face was as white as the moon itself, his eyes were bloodshot, he was coming down with a fever and Clara felt sorry for the queen and Albert. 

 

“Albert, go to your room at rest,” John ordered him. 

 

“Very well,” Albert replied. 

 

 Victoria’s eyes glistened with fresh tears, as she faked a smile at John and Clara. 

 

_(_)

 

Clara was astonished, she didn’t know what to say. She was confused at times he was sweet and kind and other times she wanted to scream at him. After all Albert was family and it made her curious to wonder if he was like that around his kinsman. 

 

After having lunch with Queen Victoria, her Majesty approved of Clara and in many ways reminded her of herself. Clara had a chance to hold Dachshund and run around and play with him around the royal grounds. As she lost herself in the maze she heard a voice call her. It was John. She didn’t know how to act around him, she wanted to be severe and give him a hard time but for some reasons he had greeted him with a friendly smile. 

 

Behind his back was a rose and a little note he showed them to her and place a small chaste kiss on her hand. 

 

The rose was fresh, it’s petals a dark red. With curiosity Clara opened the note. 

 

Dear wife, 

 

 I’m extremely sorry for my behavior towards you over the past few days.  I’ve acted like a fool, and I was wondering if there was any way you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I know you don’t approve of my actions and for that I’m sorry. We have grown used to very different customs and I hope you would give me a second chance. 

 

John. G. Smith

 

Clara was speechless, flabbergasted and in all ways shocked. In all ways she wanted to tear the letter and step on the rose petals, but there was a chance for happiness. She ran back towards Queen Victoria and John who had given her a small smile. 

 

It warmed her heart in many ways to see John try to make an endeavor in their marriage, and in the back of her mind was the image of Daniel. She could learn to move on from him. 

 

John was beside Clara for most of the evening, they had dinner and had fireworks in garden. John looked at her through darkness, Clara’s brown eyes sparkled with the light of the fireworks. He was in infatuated and in every way falling in love.   
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

Clara didn’t know what to react around him, when they got home it was nearly midnight. In the hallway, Clara had gone off into the direction of her own room until she felt a firm hold on her wrist, he pressed a gentle kiss on her hand and asked her to stay with him. He held her close in a warming embrace, a first he wasn’t sure where his arms would go first. On her waist, in her neck and finally they found the small of her back. 

 

She was considerably smaller than him, but somehow fitted in him. She took the hug with a smile as they both went different ways. “Goodnight, Clara,” he told her. 

 

“Goodnight, John,” she said for the first time. It was nice hearing his name on her lips, the weight of them was bittersweet. 

 

Too tired to argue a smirk shy smirk appeared on his face.  _ Goodnight, my darling.  _

 

 

John didn’t know how to react to Clara now, the ghost of her skin, and her lips followed him. He wanted her, and it had been many years since he had desired any woman, from going to the brothel and then going to the whorehouse, it was no use. He didn’t need and want someone this intensely since Rose. He went to bed, uncomfortable and dreaming about the woman across the hall. 

 

 Mr. Mannering met him in the morning to discuss sending the slaves home to their families. It was a difficult affair, John owned many slaves, his house and his money revolved around them and the cotton field. He would have to consider a new career, he had wanted to study medicine, but he had a duty to his family. For if he had lost everything it could threaten the life of Prince Albert who was on the edge of death. He had thought about gathering workers to work in the field. It was decided, after waiting for hear from the African families he had spent every afternoon with Mr. Mannering to  discuss other matters.

“John,” he laughed sipping his tea. “I don’t believe you forget these things”. 

 

  John smirked at him and awkwardly fidgeted with his long delicate hands. “I forget how to do things when I’m around her, how to act. How to act on how I feel”. 

 

His friend had laughed at him again, biting the tip of his finger nails. “I haven’t seen you this infatuated with someone since Rose”.

 

“I don’t know what to do, for the first time in my life I’m at a lost for words,” he replied truthfully. 

 

       “And no brothel, are you sure?” his friend asked. 

 

  John gave him an annoyed smirk and closed his eyes, with only brown eyes haunting him. 

 

Clara had made her move towards the library, with a Alice Austen book in hand she heard familiar footsteps as she turned around. John was admiring her from a considerable distance as if he might catch a cold from her. He tried (very badly) to try to make conversation.

 

“I hope you will try to give me a chance,” he said, as if starting in the middle of a conversation. 

 

Clara, for once understood what he had meant. 

 

“I will, I just don’t see the point of beating innocent slaves to death,” she snapped. 

 

  He swallowed unformatable. He offered his hand. 

 

“Come with me, let’s take a walk around the house,” he said. She took his hands as he put Clara’s small hands and put them in his own. It was holding hands, in way. 

 

 They had breakfast in the field, with a large blankets and food brought out to them, they sat far apart but did not avert their gaze. He was a very strange man, it was hard to make him out he could be gentle, she saw that and in other times he could be so cruel. 

 

  Clara thought back to what she told Danny that morning.

 

_  “You think he can change?”. _

 

_    “He has a heart Daniel,” she told him. She was right she saw the evidence of that last night. “He knows how to be kind. You have to understand Daniel, I’m doing this for my family, out of duty and honor. If I ran away with you I’ll never have a chance for my family to marry well. Please understand that Daniel”. _

 

_    “I-I will try to understand, although it won’t change the fact that I still love and care for you. I understand honor, I wasn’t born yesterday Clara,” he told her.  _

 

_    “So you understand I have to give this marriage a chance?” she asked him.  _

 

_     He nodded. He kissed her cheek and went back into the cotton field. _

  
  


“Can I explain myself?” he asked. 

 

“Of course,” she told him. 

 

“I wasn’t always a slave owner, I was actually against it,” he explained taking a sip of coffee. My brother was the earl of Pembroke, he was coming down with typhoid fever, so naturally I took the title. Her name was Rose, she had beautiful golden blonde hair and brown eyes, like yours. She came to visit with her husband, Mr. Tennant, who was coming down with the same fever my brother had. Being the second brother, I couldn’t offer her anything, we remained in contact with letters and tokens. When her husband died we got married immediately, perhaps too quickly. I was thrilled when Rose got pregnant when it was time for her to give birth, she had died along with the baby. It was a boy. I was never the same again”.

  
  


Clara listened attentively, she had misjudged him and been prejudiced against him. Hesitantly she looked at his hand and placed hers on top of his. John looked at her brown eyes, she was looking down. He squeezed her hand as she gave him a sympathetic smile. 

 

“I couldn’t help but ask,” she started. “what made you decided to own slaves?

 

“I was angry,” he explained. “Anger took control and needed to vend my anger in the only way I can. I plan on making the slaves free one day”. 

 

“When did you decide that?”

 

“A few days ago, when I met you. You make me happy, and I’ll try to spend everyday trying to make you feel the same,” he promised her. 

 

“What made you change your mind?” she asked. 

 

“You,” he replied simply. 

 

  John did his best to make sure that the slaves rejoin their families, and with Clara’s help he did just that. Daniel Orson had a hard time believing that he would be free and return to his family shortly. 

 

  As John and Clara’s relationship developed he spend his time courting her, as he didn’t get the opportunity to. He spent their courtship distant from her in the beginning, when he first knew her. It was his way of somehow making it up to her, now from the gentle gestures to the kisses on her bare skin in the oddest occasions, surprised but not unwelcome. They did not sleep together, that he was too afraid of doing, she was so small and fragile he thought she might break. Gradually John was winning Clara’s love and trust, from the intense passionate kisses to swims in the lake he found every way to try and make her happy. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 

 He held her firmly, hands on waist lust had clouded his eyes, his lips swollen from Clara’s kisses. Clara hugged him first, a little taken back he was surprised his arms were open biting his lip bracing himself from the surprise attack hug. Clara had been giving him these whenever she had the urge to be “affectionate” as he called it. Eventually he rested his head on her shoulder. 

 

“Was I hugging you too tight?” she asked, releasing a nervous chuckle. 

 

“No, it’s fine, it’s uncomfortable but I’m okay with it. Oh God Clara, I’m sorry,” he told her. 

 

She raised a hand to his cheek. “It’s alright, we are both young, we’ll have children. I’ll wait for you”. 

 

“I’m sorry,” he told her. 

 

She tried to hold back her disappointment. He pulled her into his lap and kissed her neck, this was how it was now, Clara could never get him to take her to bed and make love but somehow they are also close. It was only six weeks since the day of the wedding they were going to be perfect. John was in every way falling in love with her. 

 

Besides trying to win John’s heart Clara worked around the house and occasionally in the field. Daniel Orson was to leave in a week, he had adverted her while she tried her best to talk to him. No part of her ached for him he was dead to her. John was in her heart and mind all day. He improved in his manners, whenever he was cruel Clara argued with him. Everyday she surprised him, by doing the maids chores to helping in the cotton field and helping prepare dinner. 

 

One day Clara, came back from working in the cotton field as her husband’s advisor Mr. Mannering came visiting. 

 

“Mrs. Smith,” he greeted her. 

 

“Mr. Mannering,” she replied coldly. He knew her well, they had many talks together about John and about replacing the slaves with workers who needed the money. Mr. Mannering didn’t approve much of how independent Clara was and how much of an influence she had on John. “We’re you looking for my husband?”

 

“No, I was actually wondering if you had time to talk to me,” he requested. 

 

She wiped her tanned hands on her apron and called for tea. 

 

“I don’t like the influence you have on John, Clara,” he began. 

 

“And why did you say that?” she asked, pretending not to know what he was talking about. 

 

“You’re lucky to have married into this amount of wealth, Clara. Don’t ruin his reputation to put his head on backwards. He doesn’t need modern opinions from you,” he argued. 

 

“The queen will disagree with you and so will the prince,” she snapped. 

 

“You don’t deserve him,” he spat. 

 

 She crossed her arms tightly over her chest as if she was cold. “And who are you to decide to know what I am to deserve? I’m in charge of my own destiny! John cares about me for who I am, and I care for him in my way, and if you have some kind of an issue with that…..leave”. Her last words were bitter and tasted like venom, she spat her words at him disgusted by the very sight of him.

 

_ She will pay for this. _ He swore to himself as he slammed the door behind him. 

 

“Clara!”

 

It was John, a long sigh of relief went through her. 

 

“John?” she asked, testing the words as if almost not believing it. 

 

There he was, he had put down his hat as she ran into him arms. He sensed her distress. 

 

“My love, what’s wrong?”

 

“Mr. Mannering came in, telling me to remind me of my position, of your influence in the world. I didn’t something worse, I argued with him”. 

 

He pressed a kiss to her hair as she wept. 

 

Clara fell asleep crying, as John stayed up half the night writing to Mr. Mannering and firing him from being his loyal friend and advisor. Of course when Mr. Mannering received the letter he destroyed it, angry he swore revenge on the Smiths. 

  
John held Clara as she slept, she rested on his elbow as he could feel himself drifting also. His eyes were heavy from the lack of sleep over the past few days. He cursed himself everyday trying to break down his walls enough to let Clara take him in her arms and to bed. He had tried but couldn’t, he couldn’t bring himself to focus on the present enough to think without losing her. Everyone he had ever love he had lost. It was unfair. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 

She was crying into his chest,  tear stained, a red circle appeared under both of her eyes from crying. She couldn’t ask him to stop being friends with Mr. Mannering, he had been in John’s family for years. After Clara told him what happened, he was aghast, he didn’t know Clara and Mr. Mannering had such a cold relationship Clara had never spoke to him directly about it. 

 

Clara felt she and John developed a closer relationship from strangers to friends and finally to lovers, she felt as though he was her best friend. 

 

“I can’t believe he would behave this hostile towards you,” he said, aghast. 

 

“Well women are not treated equally in this society, we are pretty things to entertain and keep quiet,” she replied, her tone sad. 

 

He knelt down before her with his hands holding hers, he looked up to her, eyes full of love and concern. He hadn’t been very affectionate, they were testing getting to know each other in their own way. He gave her a sly smile now and then, gave her gentle kisses on the cheek whenever he visited his tenants and kissed her forehead at night before separating. He still had his cold demeanor, only seeming warm and gentle at night and then would retire to his room when he was feeling overwhelmed, sometimes completely ignoring her.

 

Now, to her complete surprise, her expression incredulous he kisses her knuckles and gave her a quick kiss on her mouth. 

 

“Don’t worry, he’ll pay for what he’s done,” he promised her. 

 

“Don’t be cruel to him, I know he’s not been kind of me but don’t do anything dangerous, don’t beat him up,” she asked of him. 

 

“I don’t care if he had beaten you or verbally abused you,” he argued. “He’ll pay”. 

Oooo

 

There was no chance to argue he had gone in the middle of the night, ordered the horseman to drive him to Mannering House. Mr. Mannering swore vengeance on the Smiths, he swore to poison Clara and make his mark on the family. 

 

What he didn’t know was that in the middle of the night was John’s knock on his door. He swore to himself as he put trousers on and went to the front door. Saturated was John standing in the pouring rain with fury in his eyes. He punched Mr. Mannering in the nose and everything went black. 

  
  
  


“Here take this,” John said handing his friend cloth with ice. 

 

Mr. Mannering took it with a polite nod and put it to his nose. John sat down near the hearth, a two glasses in his hand he poured his friend ale. 

 

“Have you decided to kill me?” Mr. Mannering asked. 

 

“I haven’t decided yet,” his friend replied. 

 

“Your wife deserved every word I ever called her,” Mr. Mannering spat as John paced around the fireplace. 

 

This fed John’s fury, his face was flushed with red, almost the color of apples and blood. He pointed a finger to his friend their faces so close Mr. Mannering could feel his friend’s breath on his own. If anyone walked in it would look like they were having a lover’s quarrel. “Be careful what words you choose, that is my wife you’re talking about. You do not speak of my wife that way”.

 

“What happened to you? Ever since you have married her you have changed, you didn’t care what word came out of your mouth, you went to a brothel almost every week. You used to be free, now look of what she has turned you into”.

 

“She had made me a better man, than you’ll ever be. If you ever come near my wife again, a broken nose won’t be the only thing you’ll have to deal with,” he threatened. 

 

They had a log intense stare, as if making sure sure that his friend took the threat seriously John left, never looking back. 

 

000

 

Mr. Mannering soon followed John’s horse in the darkness, the moon had lit the way as the sounds of the night filled the air. He had only one mission, to destroy the Smith family. 

 

Clara heard the carriage drive up the front of the house, her heart lifted hoping to greet John with a big smile and a kiss, she had worn only her shawl and her nightgown, maybe today would be the night. 

 

With her heart fluttering she raced downstairs when the maid told her that it was Mr. Mannering. Her heart sunk, and she was afraid but did not show it. He grabbed her hand but she didn’t say anything, she didn’t have time to protest, and then she did accusing him of how inappropriate the situation was. She was hardly dressed, the night was cold and the shawl wasn’t thick enough. 

 

His grip was so tight his nails were digging into her skin creating a mark. “Let go of my arm!” she yelled at him. “John will be home soon and when he finds you here he’ll tear you to pieces, and I’ll do the same in the meantime. You pathetic piece of shit”. 

 

“Oh!” he feigned a shocked face. “Language of a whore. Turn around”. 

 

His tone scared her, she ran as fast as her feet could carry her until she felt his grip on her hand again. 

  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

Her ass was towards him, he had got a hold of her hips as she cried out in agony and in pain, her bit her own mouth so hard she tasted blood. She tried to scream and call out John’s name, but alas it was no use she couldn’t find the words, they were muffled by her silent screams. 

 

“Say his name,” Mr. Mannering said. 

 

“You sadistic piece of shit,” she spat. 

 

He let her go, she felt a sigh of relief as she smoothed out the voluminous folds of her skirt. His cock was still half hard, was throbbing with desire, she turned away as he fixed himself. He grabbed her hand again as he took her where he left his horse, he grabbed a piece of cloth from his pocket and put it in her mouth, she had promptly fainted. 

  
  
  


O.o

 

John had finally made his way back home, he took his bottle of ale and let it burn against his throat. He hated the taste of ale, but he needed comfort and very feeling of ale swimming inside him helped him relaxed from his previous encounter. 

 

He was looking forward to seeing Clara, feeling her in his arms and kissing her gently. His thoughts were only of her when he came home, with the daydream still in his mind a rare smile came to his lips in the midst of fury. 

 

As he walked in he put his hat on the table provided and his cane. His butler came to take his jacket off when John said. 

 

“Ah Joseph where’s Clara?”

 

“She’s not here, sir” his butler told him. 

 

A flash a worry went through him where wa she? “Do you know where she is? Did she say anything?”

 

“So sir,” his butler replied curtly. 

 

“Have my horse prepared again, I shall go directly and find her”. 

  
  


O.O

 

 All Clara could see was blackness, the darkness embraced her, all she had felt was the soft feeling of hay. A door opened and the blazing feeling of the afternoon burned her eyes. A helping hand helped her as she walked up the ladder. 

  
  


  “Come Miss Oswald,” Mr. Mannering told her, his hand still in hers. 

 

She released her hand from his grasp. “My surname is Smith”. 

 

  “You’ll be Mrs. Mannering,” he argued. 

 

  “I will not! It’s against the law to have two husbands or two wives. I am Mr. Smith’s wife for he is my true husband,” she spat. 

 

 “I can easily get a divorce for you two,” he seemed unmoved by her words and nonchalant. 

 

 “I would never marry you!” she yelled. 

 

He seemed to be polite now, the fury was gone from his eyes. “You will, you’ll love me”. 

 

“You actually love me?” she scoffed. 

“In my own way,” he lied. 

 

“You are a fucking asshole,” she spat again. “Keeping me in a cellar as if I was a dog. I am not for your posession”.

 

“Wake up darling, men rule the world..not women”. 

 

______________

 

John, with worry in his heart almost made his horse’s heart burst with adrenaline. The sound of the horse’s hooves overwhelmed John’s ears with his own thoughts, his own Clara in danger fueled his anger. He tried to keep it under wraps, as he opened the door of the front hall yelling Clara’s name across the house. 

 

The house itself was large, and John didn’t expect Clara’s voice to carry. He dared hope though that she might scream so he could follow her voice. 

  
  


She had tried to scream but the cloth in her mouth made her feel faint. She dared to close her eyes as she heard the beating of horse’s hooves across the gravel. Clara wanted to scream out but her voice was sore from all the screams of earlier. She heard the muffles of screaming, punching and feet dancing across the floor. 

 

“Clara!” John screamed. 

 

“John!” she yelled back but no sound came out. 

 

“I’m coming!” he assured her. 

 

As Clara fell once back into sleep, her eyelids heavy. She heard the opening and closing off the closet door as she was lifted into his arms and into the nearest chair. Somehow she felt every reassurance that he would come back for her, he locked the door while Mr. Mannering was unconscious to keep himself and Clara safe. He locked the door behind Clara leaving a note using nearby ink and paper, he whispered in her. “I’ll come back for you,” he promised her. He placed a kiss on her cheek. 

 

He undid the cloth from her mouth as she said “You better”.

 

“Is that an order?” he teased. 

 

“You damn right it is,” she teased. 

 

With the fume from the cloth gone, she was falling asleep again, she was afraid she wasn’t going to be awake to see John come back from his victory. John stole a glance from her and then locked the door behind him. 

 


	10. Chapter 10

Taking advantage of the few moments she had before she fell asleep again against her own will she saw the note on the desk, the faint memory of John whispering in her ear telling her he would come back filled her with hope. The key that locked the room was gone, she had read the note again.

 

Clara,

 

I have locked the door, I’m keeping you safe in here until I know that Mr. Mannering is gone. I know I have broken my promise to you of not going after him, but I wanted to protect you until I know you are safe.

 

                                                                                                                                                                                     Your husband,

 

                                                                                                                                                                                     John George Smith

Clara didn’t forget his promise, but she couldn’t ask him to not protect her either. She waited in the room, when she looked around to see if there was anything she could occupy herself with. What was occupied was her thoughts, afraid that John wouldn’t be able to survive, he wasn’t necessarily young, middle aged with silver curls she was afraid that he would back out. She was always afraid that she would never get the chance to say that she thought she was in love with him.

  
  


John wiped away the blood from his mouth, he panted with his hands on his knees he looked to Mr. Mannering who was giving him a victorious smirk. He helped himself to another shot of ale and waited until his friend- enemy recovered from the blow to the mouth.

 

“Your wife has a dirty mouth,” Mr. Mannering commented. “As she ever told you she learned all her tricks from that brothel house? Those tits am I right? You should know who you’re fucking, John”.

John gave him another blow in the nose, he cried out in pain as they both fell to the floor. They were on top of each other, straddling and doing whatever they can to do whatever damage they could to each other.

 

“John! Enough!”

 

John was in mid motion of hitting him when he hesitantly nodded and managed to get off his friend.

 

“Just go,” Mr. Mannering said.

  


___________

 By the time John found Clara, she waiting for him, she took a deep sigh of relief in seeing him and ran towards to hug him. His arms didn’t know where to go, they were just suspended in mid air as Clara buried her face into his neck. “I thought he might have killed you,” she whispered. Was she crying.

 

His arms found his way around her waist as he hugged her closer. “I almost killed him,” he admitted.

 

Clara gave him a confused look as he took her hand he finally saw the bruises on her face from where his enemy had dared to touch Clara. Her hands squeezed his more tightly as she leaned into him once more. He gave her a small smile.

 

“John, why did Mr. Mannering just let us go like that?”

 

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I just want to take advantage of it while we can and get you home and clean up your bruises”.

 

“Thank you for taking care of me,” she told her. “Everything you’ve done. I really appreciate it. My gratitude is there”.

 

“Believe me, I let you inside my head- you don’t leave. Besides I have a duty of care,” he told her.

 

Brown eyes met blue for a minute, Clara pulled him in for a kiss, her hands in his silver curls. His arms were around her as they stayed like that. Until he realized Clara was shaking with fear he let her go.

 

“John, there is something I would like to say-” Clara began.

 

“We don’t have time! We have to go, before Mr. Mannering changes his mind,” he argued.

 

_____________

 

   Clara wanted to tell John she loved him, right there and then. John had almost travelled almost all night to get to Mannering House he thought it would be best to stay overnight at a hotel.

 

  As Clara agreed to the plan as she lifted herself onto the horse, John gave the horse a gentle kick as it galloped into the midst of the night. She tightened her arms around his waist for support she leaned into him, for once he didn’t freeze under her touch but had welcomed it.

 

 John lifted Clara off the horse from his waist as she slid down off of him his hand still on her waist he gave her a chaste kiss but it just left her lingering for more. With intertwined hands they booked a room with one bed for the night.

  

   As Clara got herself undressed in the bathroom John was writing letters at his desk, to his servants and telling them him and Clara would return tomorrow.

 

  It was now or never. “John?”

 

 “Hmmm?”

“I think I love you,” she told him.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 

 For a moment it seemed like empty silence between them, as if their voices were mute. Those words she just said couldn’t be taken back, those same words were on his lips for the three months that had passed between them. 

 

    “John? Did you hear any word of what I just said?” she asked him awkwardly. 

 

   “Y-yes,” he said a little.  “it’s a little difficult to process”. 

 

She stepped a little closer to him and reached for his hand. “It’s true. I love you”. 

 

   “You don’t how long I was waiting for you to say that,” he said, using his free arm to put around her waist. 

  “Really?” she asked. She was smiling so hard that the ends of her mouth were hurting. 

 

  “I love you too,” he told her. 

 

 Her hands were on her chest, both arms were around around her waist. There was the tension, she felt the growing tension in her heart as she felt drawn to him. As their faces got closer together, John kissed he first her arms was around her neck, supporting her in his embrace. Her cradled her head with his hand as the kiss got deeper. Then John took in a sharp breath and looked at her lovingly. 

 

He had kissed her properly for the first time as Clara bit her lip she had felt a shot of desire go through her. “Clara-I…”

 

   “I know,” she said, sympathetically trying not to laugh. “I am too”.  

 

 She turned around as gave him unspoken permission to undo her laces, after tedious minutes John undid her corset and her dress, the remains of it falling on the floor.  

 

They lead each other to the bed, never taking their eyes off of each other, with foreheads pressed against each other hands undoing each other’s clothes Clara whispered her words again and so did he. Clara reached down to take off his trousers as he helped her, his erection teasing her entrance as the dark look in his eyes asking for unspoken permission. As she granted it he started out with slow thrusts as she put her arms around his shoulders whispering his name. 

She wrapped her legs around his waist, as he looked up at her she gave him a tender smile. He pressed kisses against her neck finally at last letting himself go, finally allowing himself to completely love her. Each moment was spent with tender words and tender touches, falling into the world of blankets. 

 

_________

 

   The sheet was drawn over them in the middle of the night, after making love they had at last fallen asleep. Clara couldn’t sleep she was so happy, the moon smiled as it hid behind the branches of the trees. With the moonlight highlighting John’s face his features were softened, he almost looked tender and for a moment looked years younger. 

 

She had fallen asleep against his chest, his arm just above the base of her spine. He was smiling in his sleep, he had opened his eyes and realized Clara was there watching him sleep. He looked surprised to find her there as if fearing she would leave. 

 

  “I thought you would leave,” he whispered. 

 

  “Never,” she promised him. “I made my vows- until death do us part”.

  
  


John and Clara made their journey later in the morning, and just to think a day ago they were still testing and work their relationship now John was happier than he had ever been in half of his life, and Clara who had been so young taught him to love and live again. 

 

After Clara wrapped her arms from his behind, he patted her hand gently as he beckoned the horse forward. No longer was Clara hesitant to hold him, or touch him and neither was he. 

 

Both of them had a lot of explaining to do, but also they were eager for each other’s touch and spend every moment they had together. When they walked in the housekeeper, Mrs. Fairchild and Alice greeted them with relieved smiles.  

 

Alice gave Clara a tight hug, so tight Clara’s bruises hurt. “Oh mistress! I thought we would never see you again!”.

 

Clara let out a dry laugh. “I’m fine really”.

 

“You’re bruised,” Alice pointed out.

 

“I’m alright, I’m just a little tired we were riding all night,” Clara explained.  

 

“It was my fault for not taking a carriage last night,” John explained taking his hat off. “at least it was warm. This is the only moment I’m grateful for summer”. 

 

“You were rushing, you worried about her,” Mrs. Fairchild explained for him as if she was asking him a question. 

 

“Yes, after all I have a duty as a husband,” John replied giving Clara a wide smile. 

 

“Duty of care?” Clara asked him with a hint of a smile. 

 

“Yes,” he replied matter-of-factly. 

 

        “Well I have to say I’m very surprised Mr. Smith,” Mrs. Fairchild said with a surprised scoff. “so it’s true, Clara has thawed your heart of ice”. 

 

_____________

 

  Later that evening, John pressed a cold compress to Clara’s face, she winced at the pain taking the cloth from John she applied the pressure gently. She could see John’s features darken with anger.

  “Don’t go after him, I know what he did was wrong but please for me- don’t go”. 

 

  “It doesn’t change what he did to you,” John pointed out. 

 

 She took both of his hands. “I know, but don’t go to his level,” she warned him. 

 

  “Is that an order?” he asked with a hint of teasing in his tone. 

 

  “Yes,” she told him and pulled him down for a kiss. 

 

Clara felt him take a sharp intake of breath. “Does it ever stop? Wanting you?”

 

“I hope it doesn’t”. 

 

He traced circles in her palm, the one inch of skin where it didn’t hurt. 

 

“When my skin touches your skin? Does that happen to most people?”

 

She smiled as she traced circles on his bruised knuckles. “I don’t exactly know the science of it, but yes similar to this”. 

 

He cradled the back of her head to bring her down into a long tender kiss, she closed her eyes licking her dry lips. 

 

“Oh, we have to go down for dinner,” he groaned. 

 

“Or we can stay up here for a few more minutes?”.

 

He gave her a small sly smile. “Agreed”.    
  
  
  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12

Clara had missed her course today, she was half hear and half excitement the fact of knowing that a little life was growing inside of her made her heart filled with joy. The problem was she didn’t know how to tell John she was pregnant, she wasn’t even sure she had missed her bleeding completely she could get it tomorrow. She was just too excited that finally she had a chance to give John an heir, something he had wanted from their marriage since the beginning. 

John and Clara had taken a visit to Queen Victoria again when Clara had felt it necessary to tell Her Majesty that she thought she might be pregnant. 

“I don’t want to tell John yet, I’m sure I might still get it tomorrow,” Clara told Victoria. 

“I don’t think it’s necessary for a woman to say she’s pregnant until the third month, if you missed your courses then, you can say your pregnant,” Victoria explained. “but if you’re sure, by all means tell him”.

With Clara’s reassurance later that night after dinner decided to tell him. “John, I’m pregnant”.

John’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor, he didn’t know how to react. Clara laughed as John took her hands looking at Clara’s still flat belly. He knelt down, with hands on her waist he pressed a kiss to her belly. 

“Are you sure? Actually properly sure?” he asked her now at his feet. 

“Define actually properly,” she teased. 

“I mean- you’re we- oh my gosh!”

He lifted her off her feet and twirled her around as Clara laughed. Putting her back on her feet again he pressed a long lingering kiss on her lips. She closed her eyes, as a wide smile appeared on John’s face, her’s mirroring his. 

“I haven’t been hurting have I these past few weeks?”

“No,” she laughed. “the doctor said we can continue”. 

He let out a sigh of relief. “I’m going to be a father!”

“Yes my love,” she replied. “we’re going to be parents”

____________

Mr. Mannering had made plans to annul the marriage between John and Clara and keep Clara for his own. He had gotten his hands on the contract from an old friend in the household of the Smith. Writing a letter to Mrs. Fairchild’s daughter, Alice the promise of love and enough money to get out of the Smith household and live with him as his personal mistress and maid. 

Alice had come to visit him in the evening on her own personal horse, to see him. She had announced herself and opened the door. “My love,” she greeted him. 

“Alice, you have come at last,” he greeted her with a warm smile. 

“I’ve come as promised. I have brought the marriage contract as asked, now I want my reward,” she replied. 

He gave her a small pouch with the money, and gave her a long kiss. He wrapped his arms around her possessively with no chance of letting her go. “Tell me exactly what is that makes you so determined to have the marriage between Mr. and Mrs. Smith annulled?”

“I told you, she took my place I loved John first,” she told him. 

“That’s why you need the money,” he said in realization.   
“I don’t just need the marriage annulled,” she said coldly, her blue eyes cold as ice. “I want Clara Oswald dead”. 

 

o.O

Getting Clara Oswald dead was a lot harder than Alice originally had thought. Clara was not only beautiful but clever, she had already suspected Alice. Alice was getting closer to Clara, she had trusted Alice is her secrets and the pain of losing the the child. But Alice was just beginning.


	13. Chapter 13

Clara’s breasts glistened with sweat as the fractured moonlight coming from the window. One hand was gripping her hair and the other her waist moving them in a rhythm so they were in sync together, Clara smiled as she to her climax she let out a “Ooff”. 

 

  “My beautiful one,” he said looking at her eyes as they lied down back on the bed. 

 

 She giggled as she took his hands and placed a kiss to his knuckles, mimicking what he does so frequently. 

 

  “That was wonderful,” she told him looking at the moon. 

 

He put an arm around her and brought her into his neck, pressing a kiss into her brown hair.

 

  “Oh Clara, my little Clara. You’ve done it”. 

 

Clara smiled knowing what he meant, she had thawed his heart of ice, it melted away like the winter snow as spring was born. She gave him all the tenderness he needed, she taught him kindness and sweetness which he had been missing all these years. He gave her a quick chaste on the lips before falling asleep again. 

  
  


o.O

 

Alice kept up her pace with him, he met her at midnight in the garden, she was desperate, running through the gardens and nearly tripping, she picked up her skirts and called his name. She finally found him, greeted with no kiss or hug but simply one question: was Clara dead? Was the unborn baby dead? Was John growing tired of Clara? Finally Alice told him the news that was dancing on the tip of her tongue. 

 

 “She’s pregnant?” Mr. Mannering practically yelled at Alice. 

 

  “Yes!” she yelled back at him, with her hands on her hips she watched as the rain poured, she stared at her own reflection, it was stained and foggy from the summer humidity.  

 

 Mr. Mannering stroked his non-existent beard, he put a hand over his aging face. 

 

 “If only she wasn’t so stubborn!” he groaned in frustration. 

 

   Clara was a stubborn woman, and clever too she was already suspicious of Alice’s actions. Alice had her fooled thinking she was safe for awhile, but still worried that Mr. Mannering would have the marriage annulled and married her for himself and Alice would go and marry John. Alice had already warmed up to the prince and the queen, she had already moved up her position, soon she could bring enough money in her marriage to marry John. 

 

  And suddenly the idea hit him. “Make sure she drinks a tonic, it should help get rid of the baby. For you,” he pointed a finger at her and gripped her hands tightly. “Make sure to keep him company, start an affair with him keep him sexually occupied. Flirt with him, whatever you have to do to get yourself in his bed”. 

 

She gave him a curt nod and a deep curtsey and left him. 

 

________________

 

 John stayed in his study Alice brought him tea and some sweets, she watched him and knew that his heart belonged to another. Clara had kept him on his toes, she kept giving him something to unravel, they were always learning from each other. Alice’s heart felt heavy as was reminded that every night Clara game to him in bed. 

 

John of course knew something was wrong. “Alice, are you okay?”

 

“Just a little tired, sir,” she lied. 

 “You may go, I know it’s almost bed time,” he told her with a friendly smile. 

 

She hardly ever seen him smile before Clara, and then he was asking if she was alright. She almost seemed incredulous and speechless when he said it. 

 

“Take a seat and tell what’s wrong,” he told her. 

 

She put down the tray that held his finished tea and ale. “My mother is asking me if I want to get married and is wondering why I have ever ‘caught’ someone”. 

 

 “Oh I see,” John said in understanding. “What about Thomas the footman? He seems to have an eye for you”.

 

 “Thomas?” Alice scoffed. “Good grief no. I think Thomas as other tastes”. 

 

John eye’s widened in realization. “Oh, I see”. 

 

Alice went to the other side of the desk and rested her head against him. Aghast he asked. “What are you doing?”

 

“Don’t you see?” she asked as if understanding was as easy as solving a math problem. “I love you”. 

 

He pushed her away immediately leaving her where she was. “I think you should leave before matters get worse and you’re living on the streets”. 

  
Without saying another word she stormed out of the room, slamming the door with a big slam echoing in the large room.


	14. Chapter 14

John felt extremely guilty as soon as the words came out of his mouth. He didn’t mean them but as soon as Alice left the room she naively felt she had him on his toes. Of course John told Clara his suspicions and Clara told him hers. Clara was worried, and horrified that Mr. Mannering would come to take her away again, she kept a brave face though, never backing down she was determined to fight him. 

 

The plan was to make Mr. Mannering and Alice think they had won. They had gone horseback riding near Mannering house and of course in the shadows, and in the blanket of night Clara saw Alice’s shadow in the window. When Clara had gone off the horse, John took her hands. “I don’t like this idea”.

 

“I don’t either,” she replied. “I’ll be fine I can take care of myself”. 

 

“I know,” he nodded, kissing her knuckles. “But please be careful, if anything happens I’ll wait here”.

 

“I’ll be fine,” she promised. 

 

“I’m trying to keep you safe!”

 

“Why? No one is safe, not ever. I’ll come back to you I can promise you that”. 

 

He was reluctant to let her go, one hand was on her waist, he wasn’t just thinking about her and her safety, God knows it was one of his only thoughts when he knew she was so close to danger. One hand was at the base of her neck, he teased her lips with his own, brushing them against each other. 

 

“I love you,” he whispered, words only for them to know. 

 

“I love you too,” she said as let go of his embrace as she walked into Mannering House. 

 

When Clara walked in Alice thought immediately that Clara had made a huge mistake. What Clara saw Mr. Mannering standing completely shocked, he still had the same dark look in his eyes and so was Alice. Alice looked different, she looked more angry and full of vengeance. Alice knew Clara was pregnant, she had missed her courses and now they situation became even harder. How was she going to get back the love that she never had?

 

Clara sat down and said “I have a proposition to make”.

 

Alice was the first one to speak. “What are you offering?”

 

 Clara turned to Mr. Mannering. “If I marry you, will you promise that John will be safe, that he is cared for and that he is loved”. 

 

“I promise,” Mr. Mannering said, a little too convincingly. “Alice loves him she’ll marry him”.

 

“If Alice touches one hand on him she’ll wish she never existed!”

 

“I’ll find someone”. 

 

 Alice stared in disbelief at him but her partner gave her a knowing look. “You shall go to bed Miss Oswald, in the morning we shall discuss this affair”.

 

If she had agreed John will never have been able to racade the house, save her and go home. “No, we’ll discuss this now. If we don’t reach an agreement I’ll leave this house”.

 

“Very well, you are to sleep in my room tonight, Alice will sleep in the servant's quarters. We will be married within a month, John will marry within his social standing and Alice will never touch a hair on your head or John’s for as long as I live”.

  
  


This was a side of him Clara had never seen before. Sleeping the same room with him was something she could learn to deal with, and apart of her wished she had somehow given a clue that John was outside with the men from his household prepared to rampage the house. She supposed he was waiting until she had gone to bed. So she made the excuse that she was tired and needing rest, but she couldn’t help but feel uneasy while she was in the same house as Alice, the one who was threatening her life and the child that was growing inside her. 

  
  


She waited at night for Mr. Mannering has planned, she stared at the ceiling counting the imperfections of cracks as she waited for John. She feared the worse for him, what if Mr. Mannering knew John would be there? She gripped her hands to the bedsheets when she heard footsteps, she braced herself as the door opened she heard a voice call out her name. “Clara?” it was a half whisper half yell as if he was afraid she would be unconscious. 

 

“John?” she whispered as if in almost disbelief. 

 

He had a candle in his hand as she saw his face her eyes glistened with tears. Setting the candle down on the nearest surface he brought her into a hug. “I couldn’t spend another minute without you”. 

 

He was cupping her face, a gesture she loved. “Oh shush it,” she told him. She gave him a fierce kiss that was almost bruising. 

 

“We have to go,” he told a little too quickly. 

 

“Something happened, I can see the guilt in your eyes tell me”. 

 

“Mr. Mannering is dead, fell off the railing of his house carrying Alice along with him”.

 

Clara's face turned white as a sheet with fear. “Oh my god, you didn’t-?”

 

The grip on her tightened, his eyes for the first time seemed to glisten with tears. “No!" he protested. "But Clara, I wanted to”.

 

She cupped his face and pressed a kiss to his cheek. His eyes were written in regret, she always knew how he felt right now it was just a mixture of relief, that he found her and that she was safe, a mixture of regret as Mr. Mannering's body was left on the concrete, the blood dripping from his fractured skull. 

 

John grabbed her hand as they went for their next adventure. 

 


	15. Chapter 15

When John and Clara arrived home, they were greeted by a commotion of relief and concern the hardest part was telling Mrs. Fairchild that Alice was dead. John had told her the news later that morning over breakfast Clara comforted her as much as she could, but nothing could replace the whole it left in Mrs. Fairchild’s heart. John and Clara thought it would be best if they didn’t tell Alice’s mother her daughter was in league with Mr. Mannering, Clara advised to John that it was for the best. 

 

Leaving the bad news aside some of the antidote that were find in Alice’s bedroom used to get rid of Clara’s baby were destroyed in a bonfire. Clara of course appreciated John’s over protectiveness, even though it was annoying she appreciated being loved and nurtured her love for him. Although Clara assured him that she could take of herself, he was with her every step of her pregnancy, during her fourth month she was beginning to show. 

 

Clara hoped for a boy and to name him David after her father. It was when she was contemplating names that John came into the room with a big smile- it wasn’t like a smile it was more of a smirk, a shy sly smirk hiding secrets. 

 

“I have good news”. His eyes were wide and excited. 

 

“Tell me, what is it?”

 

“Daniel Orson has officially moved to the north to be with his family and all the rest of the slaves. All the workers that are here are caucasian, and they like the work and need the money”. 

 

Before Daniel’s name used to be like a pain in her heart that just rested there and never let go, now all she could manage was to be happy for him wherever he was. All that was on her mind was John, growing and learning from her each day, learning to be less aloof. They were very alike in mind despite the age difference. 

 

 Clara’s large brown eyes widened in excitement as she smiled at him so wide the sides of her mouth hurt. He was on his knees in front of her, the ankles of her feet were by his waist. She pressed a thumb to his chin and lifted him up for a quick kiss, still after all this time sending shivers down her spine. 

 

“Oh thank you, John. Really it means the world that you’re doing this for me”.

 

“It’s all you darling, if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t been able to see the wrong in my actions. You took the dark and tore it up like a piece of paper as if it was the easiest thing to do. Before, I closed myself to love, I was rude, crude and aloof all from losing someone I loved it left an emptiness inside of me that couldn’t be filled. You took my heart of ice and you made it beat again, you taught me to love again, Clara. You filled that void and for that I love you”.

 

  Flabbergasted Clara blinked rapidly, her heart swelled as she pulled him closer. “I love you too,” she whispered. “And I love everything about you. Your flaws and your imperfections every part of me loves all of you”.

 

  He took her hands and kissed them gently. 

 

_____________________

 

 

   Clara took a drive to the north later that evening to the Orson family, when she arrived it was Daniel at home with his niece. Clara had seen little Penelope before her world had changed. Daniel stared opened mouth at Clara, dressed in a red open chested dress and a purple jacket to compliment it. Daniel whispered something to Penelope as she ran to find her mother. 

 

The room was dimly lit, the only light was coming in from the windows of the afternoon sun. Daniel was playing with Penelope they both didn’t seem to notice that Clara was there. Finally Clara broke the silence. 

 

“Hello,” Clara greeted him awkwardly. 

 

“Clara,” he breathed, his expression flabbergasted and incredulous. 

 

“Are you going to say something? Or are you just going to stand there open mouthed?”

 

“Sorry, it’s just like seeing a ghost,” he apologized. 

 

“You’re looking at me as if we’re strangers, but we were much more than that, right? Daniel, you look at me as if you don’t know me”. 

 

“You’re a ghost of someone I used to love with my whole heart,” he strained putting a hand on his heart. 

 

“He’s changed, he’s not the same man you used to know”. 

 

  Daniel arched an eyebrow at her as she sat on the chair opposite him, she reached for his hand, not as a lover but as a friend seeking another friend from what seemed an ocean of distance. Why was he being so stubborn?

 

“Daniel, I’ve come to know him. He’s changed”.

 

“I saw the way he treated you,” he argued. 

 

“That was months ago- I changed him. I love him. Why can’t you believe that?”

 

“Because you should have been mine- we would have been happy”. 

 

“Daniel, as what? You know the rules of loving a negro, of marrying one even. Can you just admit it, I’m happy”.

 

“You are? Truly?”

 

 “Yes,” she said, her voice a little more sharp but relieved that he finally believed her. “I left an invitation at the door, I hope you’ll come for dinner one day”.   
  
  
  



	16. Chapter 16

Daniel looked at that invitation for a week, staring at the contents looking at Clara’s name in her fancy script her maiden name replaced with Smith. He liked Oswald a lot more it somehow fitted her personality, sassy and feisty brave and strong the woman he once loved. Until yesterday it was still a burning sensation in his heart burning and everlasting, it was like a pain for a while until now it felt like a fond memory. 

 

Clara of course was waiting for his reply she looked at the mail everyday just to be disappointed. “Still waiting for his reply?” John asked that morning. 

 

“Unfortunately yes. I just want him to know that we can still be good friends,” Clara admitted. 

 

“I don’t think he wants to be ‘just friends’. Also it’s not your fault, it’s my fault for taking him away from his family,” said John as he reached for Clara’s hand she gave it to him. 

 

“I told Daniel all about you last week and how you’ve changed, he was so adamant, wouldn’t be a single word,” Clara told him. “Me- the  _ one  _ who he trusted more than anyone”. 

 

“You’ve changed too, you’re not the same person you were five months ago,” John explained to her. 

 

“Thank you,” she told him and placed a kiss on his cheek. He didn’t shy away as he did earlier in their relationship by instead gave her an encouraging smile. 

 

___________

 Clara found Daniel later in the evening in the garden waiting for her. Daniel turned around, he cleaned up sharp and looked handsome as if the outfit itself outlined his features in the dim moonlight. 

 

“Clara,” he addressed her with a small smile. 

 

Clara ran to him and put her arms around him burying her face in his shoulder, he held her close and gave a small laugh. 

 

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Clara said drying her happy tears. 

 

“I’m sorry, honestly Clara. I truly am, I was such an ass”.

 

She raised a hand to his cheek. “It’s ok, you’re here now”.

 

“I know I can’t offer you my heart again,” he began. “But if you let me you’ll have my friendship and companionship and whatever else you want”.

 

“I want nothing more than your friendship,” she assured him. 

 

He squeezed her hand tightly, she tugged on it as she lead him into the house. 

  
  


 Laughter, drinking and haziness of being drunk was in the atmosphere. Daniel shared his talent for music as he and Clara played a duet, then it was John’s turn as Clara and Daniel danced, then it was John’s turn and there it when their love felt true. Clara never saw Daniel in John’s eyes only him, the heart of ice that she had thawed. The love was in their air and fondness between the three of them. Daniel lost Clara’s love but what he gained was respect, kindness and fondness from both John and Clara; it was twice more what he gained than lost. 

 

Walking arm in arm John and Clara were far ahead of Daniel, they had lantern to guide them. Clara leaned into John, for the first time Clara felt as though her heart had completely moved on from Daniel. 

 

“John?”

 

“What is it?”

“For awhile, before I was married to you I never thought I would move on from Daniel, even in the first few months of being married to you. Until a few weeks ago, I don’t know why I didn’t realize this before but now my heart is now completely yours”. 

 

She kissed him on the cheek as he gave her a small smile, still not comfortable her hand on his arms but gave an encouraging smile. “Really?”

 

“Yes, I love you, John Smith”. 

 

With a hand in her hair John moved a strand and cupped the side of her face. He gave her a bruising fierce kiss that seemed to leave a mark of love. A mark to for her to be his. Her eyes were closed when they finally broke apart, Clara’s eyes were still closed and she was still breathless which always happened when they kisses as if it was  a fierce brush of wind. 

 

“And I love you,” he told her. 

 

Behind in the background Daniel felt a rush of pain as he watched them walk away he thought it was best to walk away and let them be alone. 

  
  


Ooo

 

It was to much pain to watch Clara with John, as he had walked home his family came to greet him, his niece Penelope and his sister, Agnes gave him a warm welcome. 

 

“How was your day, brother?” Agnes asked. 

 

 “Terrible, I’m craving wine and craving whores,” he replied. 

 

Agnes gave him a friendly slap on the cheek. “Well I can get the wine”. She poured him a goblet of wine and gave it to him. 

 

“Thank you Agnes”.

 

He reached for Penelope who had sat on his lap. “It’s time for me to move forward”. 

 

Agness took Penelope in her arms and closed the door behind her leaving Daniel in his own sadness.  
  
  



	17. Chapter 17

Clara’s pregnancy was not an easy one, since saying goodbye to Daniel she had not given it much thought, all she cared about was that the child she was carrying was to be a boy. The doctor himself had told her there is a good chance he might be a boy. When she had told John they were having a boy he was ecstatic, as they waited on December 20th Clara gave birth to Albert named after John’s cousin Prince Albert. Queen Victoria ravished in the name of having Clara and John’s son named after her partner and friend. 

  
  


Albert had his father’s curly brown hair and Clara’s big brown eyes, her boldness and brazen tongue and his father’s unwavering devotion. Still With Clara’s guidance he had learned to love again, to be kind and thoughtful of overs was a long journey for him that Clara helped him through. 

 

With Prince Albert long dead Clara and John were her frequent companions, they had lived in the palace for several years with Queen Victoria until they returned home where Albert was tutored by Daniel’s sister Agnes. 

 

Loving and being loved in return was a feeling John hadn’t felt in a long time, until his death and after Clara continued loving him. 

 

Now our couple is with their son, walking through the tall green grasses. And there walking with them was their friend, Daniel. John had made amends with him as they continued their friendship, he became Albert’s godfather and closest confident. Walking arm in arm, with their five son distracted John and Clara stole a few minutes alone. 

 

  In a pouch was a necklace engraved with writing on the back John placed the object in her hand, she let out a small laugh. “John, you know I’m not a big fan of jewelry”. 

  
  


“I know you aren’tm but I’m entitled to give you gifts”.

 

Unravelling the packaging it was a ruby nestled inside a silver lining, she smiled at the engraving on the back:   _ John and Clara est. 1860.  _ The year they got married. 

 

“I love it, thank you so much”

 

Pulling him into a long kiss they heard little Albert groaning next to them. 

 

“Uncle Daniel, mommy and daddy are kissing again”.

 

 Clara knelt down next to him. “Sorry sweetheart but your daddy gave me a present”.

 

“He did?” His eyebrows were raised in curiosity. 

 

Clara showed the necklace in her hands as Albert’s eyes widened at the sight. “Daddy must love you very much mommy”. 

 

“Yes he does,” Clara agreed as she felt John’s arm tightened around her waist. As they watched Daniel and Albert walk away John stole a kiss from Clara’s lips. As history passed, no one forgot Clara Oswald, the woman who thawed John Smith’s heart of ice. 


End file.
